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Monthly Archives: October 2011

Sleeping Like a Baby

I like to believe that we all have our weird parenting things that we do. Some of us are super schedulers, some of have weird cooking or food habits, some of us are very particular about how we dress our kids, and some of us take way to many pictures of our kids sleeping in crazy positions. Oh, that last one is just me? My boys are marathon sleepers. They can sleep anytime, anywhere, and they can do it twisted up like pretzels. The first thing I think when I see them in a random sleep position is “ohh… how cute,” followed immediately by “where’s the camera.” My husband thinks it’s strange, but I can’t seem stop. I need embarrassing pictures for when the boys grow up and start to date. And I think that the boys will both be relieved if I’m showing their girlfriends silly sleeping pictures because it will take me longer to get around to the bathtub pictures, the potty training pictures, and the pictures of a certain someone (ahem..Logan) playing the guitar in his undies. So without further ado, here are some (by no means all) pictures of my kids sleeping.

 This is Logan passed out at the dinner table. You know how tired he is because that is pizza that he has only taken one bite of before conking out.

Here we have Liam who rolled over and passed out mid-stride while he was crawling. I can’t count how many times I’ve wanted to do that at the grocery store; just decide that all that effort was too much, lay down, and take a little snooze wherever I please.

Here we have Logan, peacefully asleep with his stuffed dog Bruce. As it may be clear Logan LOVES Bruce.

This is Leelee asleep in his high chair. This alone is not super impressive until you find out that at this very moment, the toddler was screaming, the dog was barking, and my husband was playing his guitar a couple of feet away.

This is Logan as a baby, right after he jumped himself to sleep. Yep, I left him there for about 45 minutes until he woke up. Doesn’t he look comfy?

And this is Liam, asleep in his jumper. I know it’s the same jumper, but I swear it’s a different kid. If you don’t believe me, note how bald Liam is compared to the previous picture of his brother. Seriously, do they make baby Rogaine?

We were getting ready to go camping for the weekend, and Liam decided he ought to rest up.

And I saved the best for last. Not only is Liam sleeping under the swing instead of in it, he’s also holding onto the support bar under the swing with one hand, and holding onto the tray with the other hand, while fast asleep.

This is by no means a comprehensive collection of all of the crazy pictures that I have of my kids sleeping, but it is a sampling of some of my personal favorites. Makes you want to crawl up on top of your dresser and take a nap, doesn’t it?

 
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Posted by on October 28, 2011 in Parenting

 

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There’s Nothing to See Here

I have a love/hate relationship with the internet. It allows me to do the majority of my college classes from home, to keep up with old friends that I never see (thank you Facebook), to find a recipe for dinner in moments, to be able to almost instantly settle an argument between my husband and I about whether or not it was a full moon that night (you know I was right), to be able to stream a VeggieTales program to my TV when I’m sick and need the preschooler to sit still for a darn minute, and to update a blog with my random parenting musings. The internet can be pretty awesome. Then there is my hate relationship with it. So much stuff is out there, and as a relatively conservative mama, I feel like there is a lot of stuff out there on the internet that really shouldn’t be. Which brings me to the actual story.

So, I have the ability to look at what people typed into search engines that caused them to find and click on my blog. Usually it’s a very boring report to look at, so I almost never do. However this week an entry on the search engine terms list caught my eye: “licking peanut butter off a little girl’s toes.” Okay, so I don’t know this person, but that does not sound like an appropriate Google search to me. Now, I have done some strange Google searches such as: “can a screaming child cause a brain aneurysm,” and “how to scrub poop off of very textured walls,” and right after that, “how to stop toddler from smearing poop on walls.” So really, I am no stranger to the random Google search. However, the person who found my blog via that search was likely not looking for anything too innocent, at least in my opinion. Although search engines usually pull up a brief abstract from the site, and the post that this search pulled up was about my trip to a school orientation that culminated in my 11 month old son Liam, licking peanut butter off of his own feet. Not exactly a risqué situation. I really do hope this person wasn’t looking for anything inappropriate, but just having a weird Google search moment of their own. However, I realize that this is probably not the case.

So back to my relationship with the internet. I love my kids. I love talking about them. I love bragging them up. I love showing them off. Right before I saw this search engine list, I had been working on a silly post about my kids with a lot of silly pictures. After I saw this search engine term, I was hesitant to finish the post. Currently (except for the one picture tied to this page), the only pictures I post of my kids online are the ones in my Facebook page that I control the access to. I don’t think any parent has to actually say this, as it’s strongly implied, but I don’t want perverts looking at pictures of my kids. So after much consideration, I have decided to finish the post, complete with pictures. Honestly it was a good reminder that anything I post, people can see, and use as they’d like, even if these people are less than savory characters. With that in mind, I will not post anything like bath-tub or potty-training pictures (even though I have some totally G-rated awesome ones). However, a picture of my 3 year-old passed out in his plate of pizza will probably be okay.

I’d honestly like to assume the best in people, and that the person who used that search term forgot to include “a dog” or something at the beginning of the phrase. But if not: Greetings Perverts! You will not find any weird pervert-ey material that you may have looking for here, but you may find some amusing adventures of a stay-at-home mama. And I can say with certainty that there will be no pictures posted of anyone, even the dog, licking peanut butter off of anything.

 
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Posted by on October 17, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

Adventures in Jogging

So, I’ve taken up jogging. As part of my mission to finally be fit instead of fat, I started the Couch to 5k program. Approximately 3 days a week (okay, 2 days most weeks) I jog a 30 minute workout in the program. Couch to 5k is basically interval training. The first week you’re supposed to run hard for 1 minute then walk for a 1:30 and repeat, for an entire half hour. So, I may be on my 4th week of week one, but still I’m doing it. I’m really trying to get my speed up before moving on to the harder phases of the program because my initial running speed was a 4.0mph the treadmill. For those of you not down with miles per hour conversions that is a 15 minute mile. That is molasses slow. There are 3rd graders with their tiny 3rd grader leg that walk faster than that. There are senior citizens who have had hip replacements that walk faster than that. So, anyway, I’m trying to get my running speed up a little higher, so that maybe I can run faster than the senior citizens strolling through the park. In the last 4 weeks, I’ve worked my running speed up to a much less shameful 5.2mph, which is just a hair under a 12 minute mile. So the point of all this is I have started jogging (slowly, but still jogging).

Usually I do my jogging at the gym with my screaming banchees sweet children safely tucked into the childwatch. They play with blocks, and use Barbie Dolls as hammers to “fix” the roof of the dollhouse, while I huff and puff on the treadmill upstairs. Unfortunately we haven’t made it to the gym in several days because there has been NO time. So today, I decided to do my jog around the neighborhood with the kids. I do not have a jogging stroller, which didn’t seem like a big deal at the time. As it turns out, it is A. VERY. BIG. DEAL. So I bundled up my kids like little blonde Eskimos, and strapped them into the double umbrella stroller. As I placed my improvisational gloves (read: socks) on the babies hands Logan said he needed “mitts” to. I ran back in to get socks for Logan’s hands, and tricked the dog into coming back inside by pretending I was going to feed him. Sucker. I was jogging with two kids and no jogging stroller. I was not going to have the dog tripping me up too. As soon as I shut the door, the dog was up in the front window barking, as he had figured out my trick, and was undoubtedly cursing me out in dog barks. 

I tried to push the stroller out of our gravel driveway, but the task was made more difficult by the fact that the stroller was weighed down with a combined 55 lbs of baby/toddler weight and an additional 17 lbs of warm winter clothes. I finally got the stroller into the grass, and out onto the sidewalk. And we were off. I was jogging. Without a jogging stroller. I was awesome. Even with the stroller, I was maintaining good form, I was picked up speed. I looked up, and stopped just short of slamming my children into the neighbors gate at an approximate rate of 5.2mph, which had blown open in the wind. I steered us up into the grass strip, went around the gate, and forged on. Everything was perfect until a little later down the block, a lawn service guy was emptying a mower bag into a garbage can in the middle of the sidewalk. He saw me coming and I kept waiting for him to move, but alas, it never happened. Who has the right of way in that situation? A young able-bodied guy dumping out lawn clippings or a chubby stay at home mom barreling down the sidewalk at full speed with two young children in a stroller that was designed for perusing the mall? I think we all know the answer to that question, however he clearly did not, as he just stood there. In an attempt to go around him, I pushed my stroller onto the grass strip without really slowing down. I may or may not have almost fallen, taking the stroller and the kiddos down with me. It was a truely graceful moment.

Shortly after this, towards the end of the block, my lungs began to burn in an unbearable way. Not in the normal, “Man, I’m out of shape” way that they sometimes do. It was more of an “I think I’ve inhaled anthrax and have seven minutes left to live” sort of burn. I tried to push on, but I had to slow to a walk before my lungs exploded. My best guess (since my neighborhood isn’t highly likely to be targeted with anthrax) is that there was some allergen blowing around in the breeze today that attacked my lungs. I do experience seasonal allergies, but I have more of a spring problem than a fall one, usually. It’s hard to pin down the culprit however, since I’m not sure exactly what I am allergic to. Except for bees. And with the horrible burning wheezing pain I had today, I’m not ruling out that I could have potentially inhaled one of those suckers. Seriously, my lungs have never known such pain.

We slowed to a walk and toured the neighborhood, and on the way home my stroller wheel caught on a curb, and nearly dumped my kids face first onto the concrete. I arrived home somewhat defeated, however Logan responded with a “that was FUN Mama!” So apparently it was a fun death-defying ride (like a roller coaster, but much less safe). Two hours later my lungs still are aching, and the dog is still pouting about not getting to go, and I am blogging instead of sucking it up and doing my darn MLA citations for school. So, I will be doing all of my future jogging at the gym where my children can use Barbie as a hammer, and I don’t have to dodge crazy obstacles. Maybe I’ll start jogging outdoors again once I get a jogging stroller and a hazmat suit (just in case).

 
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Posted by on October 11, 2011 in General, Parenting

 

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