I have a love/hate relationship with the internet. It allows me to do the majority of my college classes from home, to keep up with old friends that I never see (thank you Facebook), to find a recipe for dinner in moments, to be able to almost instantly settle an argument between my husband and I about whether or not it was a full moon that night (you know I was right), to be able to stream a VeggieTales program to my TV when I’m sick and need the preschooler to sit still for a darn minute, and to update a blog with my random parenting musings. The internet can be pretty awesome. Then there is my hate relationship with it. So much stuff is out there, and as a relatively conservative mama, I feel like there is a lot of stuff out there on the internet that really shouldn’t be. Which brings me to the actual story.
So, I have the ability to look at what people typed into search engines that caused them to find and click on my blog. Usually it’s a very boring report to look at, so I almost never do. However this week an entry on the search engine terms list caught my eye: “licking peanut butter off a little girl’s toes.” Okay, so I don’t know this person, but that does not sound like an appropriate Google search to me. Now, I have done some strange Google searches such as: “can a screaming child cause a brain aneurysm,” and “how to scrub poop off of very textured walls,” and right after that, “how to stop toddler from smearing poop on walls.” So really, I am no stranger to the random Google search. However, the person who found my blog via that search was likely not looking for anything too innocent, at least in my opinion. Although search engines usually pull up a brief abstract from the site, and the post that this search pulled up was about my trip to a school orientation that culminated in my 11 month old son Liam, licking peanut butter off of his own feet. Not exactly a risqué situation. I really do hope this person wasn’t looking for anything inappropriate, but just having a weird Google search moment of their own. However, I realize that this is probably not the case.
So back to my relationship with the internet. I love my kids. I love talking about them. I love bragging them up. I love showing them off. Right before I saw this search engine list, I had been working on a silly post about my kids with a lot of silly pictures. After I saw this search engine term, I was hesitant to finish the post. Currently (except for the one picture tied to this page), the only pictures I post of my kids online are the ones in my Facebook page that I control the access to. I don’t think any parent has to actually say this, as it’s strongly implied, but I don’t want perverts looking at pictures of my kids. So after much consideration, I have decided to finish the post, complete with pictures. Honestly it was a good reminder that anything I post, people can see, and use as they’d like, even if these people are less than savory characters. With that in mind, I will not post anything like bath-tub or potty-training pictures (even though I have some totally G-rated awesome ones). However, a picture of my 3 year-old passed out in his plate of pizza will probably be okay.
I’d honestly like to assume the best in people, and that the person who used that search term forgot to include “a dog” or something at the beginning of the phrase. But if not: Greetings Perverts! You will not find any weird pervert-ey material that you may have looking for here, but you may find some amusing adventures of a stay-at-home mama. And I can say with certainty that there will be no pictures posted of anyone, even the dog, licking peanut butter off of anything.