I Stole My Kid’s Bed

Yep, that’s right. I stole it. Right in front of him. Not because I wanted a toddler bed (with a lumpy crib mattress as old as the toddler himself) for myself. But because I’m the kind of mommy who follows through with the crazy punishments that I threaten, even though I know it’s a little insane.

So you may be wondering what sort of preschooler infraction warrants parental bed theft as a punishment. Clearly this means you haven’t spent enough time in our house.

Logan (the currently bedless 3 and 1/2 year old) has a great imagination. His bed is sometimes a tractor, sometimes a train, sometimes a rocket ship, sometimes it’s a dinosaur, sometimes it’s a giant trampoline. And this is usually fine. I love me some childhood imagination. What I don’t love is when this imagination causes him to jump/kick/destroy a bed that is not only supposed to sleep him, but that I would like to be able to pass down to the younger sibling (fresh with his own lumpy mattress, of course). He gotten several warnings about the bed destruction. The last warning came with a threat: If you mess up your bed one more time, you will not have a bed.

And then today rolls around. I’m getting the boys ready for nap and I notice some pretty serious bed damage. I ask Logan what happened, and he provided my with a sheepishly honest response: “Well Mama, I was doin’ some jumpin’…”

And then I stole his bed. He watched me with a look of mild horror as I hauled his bed out into the living room.

Of course, I reminded him how he had been warned, and we had a quick talk about respecting property. And then I tucked him into a nice blanket on the floor.

I’m not sure when he gets his bed back. Or where I’m going to put his bed while it’s in “time-out.” Currently it’s blocking my front door. I’m sure my husband will have some input when he tries to come inside after work today.